fully embracing vulnerability

Several years ago I was fortunate enough to attend a 10 day silent retreat. “You mean no talking at ALL?” was the favoured, wide-eyed gasp from friends and relatives. That, to me, was bliss. Solitude, a time to really focus inwards. I was excited and ready to go.

As I arrived at this beautiful, eucalypt laden bushland venue and headed into the registration room where a crowd were already mingling, I noticed my first little fear arise. I realised these people all knew each other. And I knew no one. It hadn’t occurred to me that I would be the only ‘newbie’ in a loving, but daunting, sea of broad smiles, hugs and established bonds. “What the hell am I doing here? Can I run??” were my first thoughts as I walked out of registration on the long path to my shared lodgings.

But as I continued to my room, comfort and relief descended as I remembered our commitment to silence. The knowledge of no-one being able to speak allayed my fears, my vulnerability, that I wouldn’t fit in with this group. We were all on an even playing field. No talking. No niches developing. Just ourselves in a sea of other introspective souls. I felt safe.

Patting myself on the back for (what I thought was) managing this hurdle of fear (it was really just a lucky stroke of avoidance!), I had no idea I was to face in the coming days and if I had, I would most probably have heeded my first thoughts and run Because what I was to face hour after hour, day after day, were my vulnerabilities. And to be blunt, no matter how much past ‘work’ any of us have done, digging around your deepest recesses with a bunch of strangers and no escape is no feel-good, blissed-out experience! Well, not initially. But in the most loving and supportive of ways, each new process brought to the surface a continuous opening in the face of long-held fears of disconnection, suppression and of being seen.

To be truly seen, with all of our flaws and fears, is one of our greatest purposes in life. As Brene Brown puts it, letting go of who we think we should be for who we really are is essential for connection, and now is that time we are all called to unite as one body on this planet, in all our diversity.

I’m struck by the concept of fully embracing vulnerability, and I mean its application in every single area of our lives. In those times when it may mean the loss of friendship, or job; the fear of having our heart broken or simply looking foolish; when it may mean being judged or ridiculed. For it is in fully embracing vulnerability that we become like the awakened Pinocchio; from wooden and mask-like, we become, real, alive, joyful, and the full manifestation of our potential. We become our truth. It is only in this state of embraced vulnerability and allowing ourselves to be seen that we can truly experience what our souls yearn for at our deepest level; the recreation of our origins of unity.

I encourage you to watch the video link below entitled ‘the power of vulnerability’ for a beautifully clever and funny perspective on this topic by research professor in vulnerability, courage, authenticity, and shame, Brene Brown. Please feel free to add your thoughts and comments x

the power of vulnerability

Kate